Sorry been long time since i last blog. Kinda tired. I don't know why and what's wrong. Is it wrong to blog about your feelings?

I totally lost hope on everything. Just wish that everything is gonna be alright. Everything is diffrent now. I don't get it, why you keep irritate me when i did warn you that i don't like it. I told you many times and don't you get it?! Like my grandma used to tell me SARANG TEBUAN JANGAN DI JOLOK. You can't keep to your promise, how am i gonna trust you with everything you say. We been discussing about it alot of time. I don't know what else shall i say to make you really understand. Once i say no means no! Stop pushing me. Haiz im so sick of everything. Im not going to elaborate more FULL STOP.

Anyway good night guys. I miss all of my friends. Where are you guys man!

Hey guys as promised, i'm gonna update about my jobscope. Today is my third day at work and it feels like i've been there for so long. Even though its kind of weird of me to join in the photography industry and im VERY new, YES new but i like it. SUPER fun la sey! My jobscope is basically attend to customer. When you enter a photo shop you will just tell them you wanna develop the pictures right? That's my job. To take your orders and make sure its done before the due date. Lepak kan? But when comes to the busy period damn i'm like lost! Anyway, I like to look thru all the pictures when its done developing. Le kpo kpo. Like earlier, i saw our president and all the MPs picture. Funny. Muke sumer serious nak mampos! There's lots of kids who came just to develop pictures for their school projects/competition. Mostly they are from the photography school. Some of the pics taken are like professional. Macam paham jer dorg. Haha. That's not all. My other jobscope is to take passport size photo too. Best! Kadang kadang kekek aku tgk muke dorg. Basterd eh aku. My jobscope is mostly like retail assistant but at times we need to help with developing the pictures. Best ar masok dark room just to deveop the pic. While working here i have learn lots of things about film, camera, negative and etc. Ok la i think i have give you guys a rough idea. I'm goona sleep now. Working morning tomorrow. TTYL

hey babe! damn its been hard for me for the past few days. Tired of packing all the stuff. Thank god everything is settled! The movers came on tue at 7pm to move all our stuff to our new house. Guys if you need a movers, don't go for malay! Da sah janji melayu. lol. They promise to come at 3pm but end up they reach my place at 7pm. Arsehole btol! Nevertheless i have good news! Today os my first day at work. Even though im tired but i have to get my ass to work. Been jobless for almost two months and it feels like a year. Nurul shakila kau da takle malas malas lagi nak gi work ok! Will update more on my jobscope soon. I'm gonna rest now cause later at 12 mummy is coming home and i'm gonna give her a suprise. Its her birthday la sey. Mama i love you, you are the best mum ever. You are always there for me. You are like a bestfriend to me. Happy birthday mama! Semoga dipanjang kan usia dan murah rezeki. I lup you many many.

Hello guys. Been few days since i last blog. I'm gonna be very busy these few days. Nk pindah kate kn. Well this week will be my last week staying @ cck. I'm gonna miss my room. Buat penat aku paint bilik jek. Ingat le show off time raya. Check check nk kena pindah. lol.

I've been sleeping late and wake up early. Been a sleepless night for me for these few days. I getting sick soon. My throat is killing me! These past few days my bf is very nice towards me. Not bad. Baby you know i need you at this time. Baby i wanna thank you for everything you did to me. I love you!

I can't sleep for the whole night. I just dozzed off for awhike and bf came back home. I'm totally pissed with him. YES! not because you can't keep me company to go for the interview. I'm fine with that. I just don't get it. Why must you stick to your pc and check your mails and facebook. You didn't even bother about me. What am i invisible to you. Well i'm not pampered once again. I just need some care and concern! stop being ego. I can't take this any longer.

*ps: I'm going to smile like nothings wrong, talk like everythings perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend it's not hurting me.

Fuck i'm having a toothache. Damn its super irritating. I'm having a
S-U-P-E-R BAD HEADACHE! I hate it.
Aku BENCI BENCI BENCI! Even eating pain killer doesn't help. I have to endure until monday to see a dentist. I feel like crying. Please help me! I need you to be here but you are too busy! You just woke up and first thing is, you will turn on your pc and check your mails and your facebook. While i'm stuck here in your room blogging and only have my laptop to keep me company. You just don't care! Your dad is more concern about me than you. At times i feel that i don't have a boyfriend anymore. You are not like the past, show me care and concern. I don't know if im emo because of this fucking toothache. I can hear those msn message sound. Stop irritate me. I'm feeling hopeless now. I can't go on with this bloody toothache. Its killing me. This bloody toothache makes me moody. Oh god!


Each and every day i realise that the care is no longer there. Baby do u love me for who i am or still stick with me because of lust? I don't know. You are not the old fazrizan who i used to know. Why? You know what i'm refering to. I'm sick and tired of everything. I have my own family problems and i can't even think straight anymore. The only person who give me a support is your parents. If there are not there to give me those encourgement i think i might do something silly. I think i really need to start praying. I hope you will change your attitude. I really can't take it. I'M SICK AND TIRED! I know im not perfect but i have change alot, YES alot for you. Why just can't you change that attitude of yours. Anyway please respect me for who i am. I not a whore. You are a guy and i'm a women. We women are weak so please please please stop using all your defensive tactics on me. Now im almost done with blogging you come in the room to show care.

Ya allah aku mohon segalanya akan selesai secepat mungkin. Aku tidak sanggup lagi.

Hey guys. Sorry its been a while since i last blog. Not in the mood to blog. Today was a great day. Went to apple house for the mother's day celebration. Damn cik nita cooking is superb! Eat till i die. I was there from 6pm till 12mid. I keep on eating & eating sia. Its like once you pop, you can't stop! Cik nita keep on cooking & cooking. Pity her. Tak penat ke cik nita masak-masak ni. Anyway i just learn to make a simple dish. Not really a dish its like a mini sandwich. It was superb. Cik nita was a great cook. How i wish i could cook like her, but too bad i'm phobia of oil. LOL! I just found out today that my bf lil cousin, ayu is super irritating. I called her S.I.A, short-form for S-U-P-E-R. I-R-R-I-T-A-T-I-N-G. A-S-S-H-O-L-E. Now apple is using this term as well. She is only 7 yrs old and she is super irritating keep following me around and keep asking me question. She like to squeeze in to listen to our conversation. Super irritating. Everywhere i sit, she will try her very best to squeeze in. Kau peh bingit! Seriously i like kids but ayu is super annoying. Never in my life i'm pissed with a 7yr old kiddo. lol! Haiz kalau la aku ader anak and anak aku macam gini aku mati sak! Now im done talking about her.

After 12 i thought we are heading home but guess what? NO! We didn't went home. We went out to jalan kayu for satay. What did i say satay? Yes satay. See i told ya i kept eating and eating. Nevertheless i enjoy my day today. Especially with apple. We keep singing i can see a rainbow. Luckily it didn't rain when we sang that song. haha. I'm bad at singing. :)
That's all for today. Thank god now i'm home and it started to rain. Good night fella. I'm going to bed now and i'm going to sleep soundly tonight! Love you!

hello kawan-kawan. Today i went two places for interview. Fucking tired sia. Slept at 5am thanks to you baby. Nevertheless you are sending me so i'm fine with it. After the first interview went to beach road to have tulang. mmm shiok sia. The feeling like WOW! haha. ok la peps that's bout it. Have a good day. Hope i'm shortlisted for the job. Amin.

cam kwn2 baik? haha. Yesterday was the unlucky day ever. i swear. Wake up in the morning and clean his room. Around noon we went to wash his bike together. Been a long time since i help him washing his bike. Love playing with the soap water. haha. After washing his bike, when he wanted to start his bike something is wrong with his pipe. Kiwak! The sound of his pipe sucks! I da ckp tkmu jual. kn dier da sedih. padan muke you.

He went off to the bike shop to repair his bike and i'm at home have to iron his clothes. Gonna meet shaun and wei jun at town. As usual we are always late. Had dinner at sakura and off to kallang leisure park for bowling. It was fun meeting them. Been awhile since we last met. After bowling went to the nearby Mac and have a light bite. The weather was not good. We decided to go home. While otw home, at AYE it started to drizzle and we just carry on since its not that heavy. Upon reaching jurong it was raining heavily. Everyone was shivering. Pity shaun and my baby. All wet. Stop at the nearby bus stop and wait for it to stop. So we waiting almost for 30mins damn it was super cold. Even the ciggs didn't help. After the long wait we continue our way to wei jun place and we chill there for awhile. Reach home around 4am. Feels good to be home. Here's are the pic: